Turn to The Sun
by Yavia
Summary: Set mid New Moon. Bella is about to jump off the cliff and is waiting to hear Edwards voice again but it never comes. Jacob finds her later lying on the cliff and vows to help her anyway he can.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer; I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in it. Stephenie Meyer does.

My first Twilight based fanfiction.

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**Turn to the Sun.**

I was stood, staring up into the sky, at the edge of a cliff. Was I really going to do this? Jump off a cliff, just so I would hear _His _voice. I took a step forward, leaving me unsheltered; the wind blew around me pulling my dark hair around my face. I gathered my hair up in my hand, holding it out of my eyes and took another step forward.

Where are you? Still there was no one telling me off, no one telling me I was being stupid and to walk away from the cliffs.

I stepped forward again, this step taking me right up to the edge. I took a deep breath, as deep as I could when I felt like something was crushing and squeezing my torso. I closed my eyes and frowned, concentrating, trying to wish the voice into existence. I opened my eyes and stared out into the distance, where the sea might the sky, clouds were forming above me and the air had a cold edge to it. I held my arms out in front of me, like a diver taking their stance. Still nothing, where was the voice? Had He left me completely now? Had I used it all up?

I looked down; the swirling dark sea below me seemed a long way off. A long way down.

A long way down, and at the bottom of the cliff were a lot of exposed rocks. Even from my position all the way up here I could see how sharp they seemed. A long way down and many different ways to die. I took half a step back, starting to reconsider the idea of cliff diving from here. Was it worth it? Jumping down, would the adrenalin be worth the potential death at the other end, when He had left me again. My chest squeezed tighter and I chocked as I tried to force air down into my lungs. I could feel my heart re-breaking, the stitches that were holding the broken pieces together, the stitches that Jacob has so loving starting to put down were breaking and starting to rip apart.

I stumbled backwards away from the edge of the cliff and collapsed down onto my hands and knees gasping for air, for oxygen. I groaned out loud as the ripping pain deep, deep in my chest intensified and tears beginning to pour silently down my face. My chest tightened and the last of my remaining energy drained from my limbs and I slipped down hard landing on the rock of the cliff. I curled up into a ball, protecting my chest, one arm across my chest again trying to hold it together, trying to hold the tacking in place.

"Jacob," the almost silent whisper slipped from my lips and I rolled over onto my back. The temperature was beginning to drop and the clouds were gathering above my head. I stared up as the sky got darker and darker until little droplets of rain started to fall out of the sky to land on my face, my body, the ground around me. I closed my eyes, feeling the rain wash the tears away from my face. All those times I had almost killed myself just to hear his voice, just to feel some connection to him.

I don't know how long I lay there, the rain falling down onto me. The tears stopped at some point but my chest was still tight. I kept gasping for air, there was never enough oxygen. It was cold, and it was getting dark. Twilight. The end of another day. Another end. I could feel myself start to shiver and my teeth was being to chatter when I felt rather then heard someone approaching.

"Bella?" A hot hand touched my arm and I frowned, "Bella? Are you ok?" The voice sounded worried and I tried to force my eyelids open in order to see their face. With inhuman effort I opened my eyes and looked up in the copper skinned faces of two boys.  
"Jacob?" I asked, my voice still no more then a whisper.  
"It's me honey, don't worry. I'm here. We're going to get you back to mine and get you warm and dry ok? Are you hurt?" Jacob asked and I stared into his dark eyes.  
"No, not outside." I replied and Jacob frowned, concern flashing across his face as he looked up into the eyes of his friend Quil. Jacob reached out, tucking one arm underneath my shoulders and another underneath my knees before picking me up easily. I closed my eyes again, letting my head drop against his chest as he walked back to his small house on the reservation. Jacobs' warmth radiated through me, beginning to warm me despite the wetness of my clothes. I heard a door open and suddenly it was bright around me. I closed my eyes tighter not wanting to see, not wanting the effort.

I felt Jacob place me down on something soft, and then kneel beside me at my head. He placed his hand on my forehead.  
"Bella? Open your eyes please." I opened his eyes and shivered violently.  
"I'm cold." I said and he nodded,  
"We'll get you dry and into some clothes. Emily's on her way over with something that'll fit ok? Now, if you sit up I can dry your hair." He pulled me into a sitting position and sat beside me on the sofa. He slowly rubbed a towel through my hair and I leant back against his warm chest. "What were you doing out there?"  
"I was going to cliff dive, like we planned." I replied. "But it didn't work, I couldn't and then there wasn't..." I trailed off, not wanting Jacob to know the reason I made him do all those things with me; the motorcycle riding, trying to find that place in the forest... Jacob would hate Him even more then he already did. "I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was coming apart inside." Jacob was silent as he continued to dry my hair gently, it was comforting-it was nice. A knock at the door made Jacob stop and put the towel down on the sofa beside me, he got up and walked out of the living room. I could hear Jacob talk to Emily briefly before the both walked in to the living room. Emily smiled at me, but her eyes were worried. When Jacob had left to open the door, I had slumped back against the sofa; the little energy I had left was burning up trying to keep my head up and my eyes open.  
"Jacob, go wait in the kitchen with Sam and Billy please. I'll get Bella dry and changed in here." Emily asked gently. My head snapped round, my face horrified. I couldn't be left, not again, not so soon.  
"It's alright Bella; I'm going to be round the corner." Jacob looked pained and a wave of guilt flooded though me, my chest tightened again and I felt another stitch rip away, dissolving at the realisation I was hurting my Jacob deeply.

Emily sat beside me and quickly but gently pulled my wet clothes off, rubbing a towel over my skin to try and warm me up with some friction.  
"You're going to be ok Bella. You're safe here, you're with family." Her voice was soothing, comforting. She helped me into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. "There, least you're decent now." She smiled and I pulled a jumper on over my head.  
"Jacob," I whispered and he appeared at the doorway of the room, Billy and Sam behind him. Jacob walked over to me and sat beside me before wrapping his arms around me clutching me to his chest. I shuddered violently once last time, his skin warming me, chasing out the cold that had begun to settle around my bones. I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest. My arms lost inside the too big jumper, my limps finally warm. The pressure around my chest loosened and my arms relaxed from holding everything inside and I started to drift off to sleep.

Voices were starting to filter through my still asleep ears, I frowned not wanting to wake up; I was warm, I was comfortable.  
"She looked just the same as before. Her eyes were empty." Was that Jacob talking? Who was she? Were they talking about me?  
"Do we know what happened?" Billy asked.  
"She didn't say anything to me." Emily said and I heard someone sigh. A pair of warm arms tightened around me, pulling me closer.  
"She said she was going to cliff dive," there was a sharp intake of breath before Jacob continued, "but it didn't work. She said she felt-" another pause "-she said she felt like she was coming apart inside."  
"You don't think the Cullens'-" Billy was cut off from a noise from Jacob.  
"No, we would know if they'd come back to Forks." Sam answered Billy's question.  
"She was getting better, she was laughing again." Jacob said and his voice was filled with pain.  
"I know." Billy said and then the room settled into silence.  
"What did Charlie say?" Emily asked and Billy sighed.  
"He said to keep her here over night, she needs to sleep. He'll come get her in the morning. He would be here but there was some new information about the disappearances and he has to stay at the station." Billy said and again the room was silent.

I noticed my legs were still curled up under me and then realised the pins and needles pricking in my left foot. I tried to shift to let the blood back down into my foot without anyone noticing my moving.  
"Bella, you awake?" Jacob asked and I shook my head slightly against his chest. A small chuckle escaped from his lips and I sighed. I opened my eyes and found my head still buried into his chest. "How are you feeling?"  
"Fine," I stretched out one leg and then another before lifting my head from his chest to glance around the room. Emily and Sam were sat on the arm chairs on the opposite side of the room with Billy beside them, all three of them watching the television which was turned down behind me. "What's the time?" I asked, not wanting to turn around to look at the clock.  
"It's nearly 10pm. You've been asleep for nearly three and a half hours." Jacob told me and I nodded slowly. "Charlie said you're to stay here tonight if that's OK? And he'll be here tomorrow morning to take you home."  
"My truck-" My truck was outside Jacobs house, parked where I normally parked it when I drove down to La Push.  
"I can drive it down for you later on." I nodded again and closed my eyes, settling my head against his warm chest, letting the feeling of safety and comfort wash through me. "Don't you want anything to eat honey? There's some pizza in the fridge I can warm up for you."  
"Pizza would be nice." I muttered and I could almost here him smile. He slowly unwrapped his arms from me and moved me so I was sitting on the sofa instead of nearly on him and left the room. I looked around the room, my head still slightly swimming. Jacob came back before anything could really filter through my head with two slices of pizza on a plate. He sat beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder again and rubbed my arm gently. I slowly ate the pizza, my eyes looking at the TV screen but not able to fully focus on what was happening. As I ate, I tried to remember why I was here. How did I end up asleep in Jacobs's living room and why did no one wake me up? I had just swallowed a mouthful of pizza when I remembered.

The cliff... the clouds... the rain. His voice never came. The feeling of choking, the seemingly never ending feeling of pressure around my chest. My heart breaking. The gasping.

I gasped again. No. It couldn't be, it couldn't have actually happened. The plate fell off my lap and landed on the floor, Jacobs hands were suddenly on my arms as I was bent forward my hands at my chest as I gasped trying to force air down into my chest.

Edw- He had abandoned me for the second time. I was losing him all over again. My heart stitches ripped apart another inch, threatening to break apart completely so it would be impossible to ever fix again.  
"Bella, Bella. What's wrong?" Jacob was frantic as he held me up, so I couldn't collapse onto the floor. Cooler hands were suddenly on my face and I looked up into Emily's face.  
"Bella, listen to me." Emily's voice was soft and calming and I stared into her eyes. She smiled slightly, "Listen to me. Try to calm down and it'll get easier to breathe. Breathe with me." She took a few breaths loudly, exaggerating the action so I could hear the sound of the air rushing in and out of her mouth over the sounds of my own gasping. I tried to copy her, my hands still clutching at my heart and eventually the pressure eased and I was no longer forced to copy someone else's breathing pattern to stop myself from hyperventilating. My pulse calmed down and the rest of the room came back into focus. Emily removed her hands from the sides of my face and smiled. "Good." Behind her I could see Sam and Billy both wearing matching expressions of panic and horror- I didn't want to turn to see what Jacob's face looked like. His hands on my arms loosened slightly and pulled me back against his chest, he tucked his head into my hair and brushed a kiss onto the top of my head.  
"Bella." He whispered my name and I cringed at the pain in his voice.  
"You're going to be ok now Bella?" Emily asked and I nodded. "We should go home Sam, leave Bella to get some more rest." Sam nodded and stood up and Billy followed them out to the front door.  
"If you need us again tonight, just call us ok?" I heard Sam ask and Billy murmured his thanks.  
"Jacob, I'm going to go to bed now." Billy wheeled himself into the living room doorway.  
"Ok Dad. See you in the morning." Jacob said and I watched Billy leave the room and then the click of his bedroom door shut.

We sat in silence for a while, my head was against his chest and I listened to his heartbeat though his rib cage. One, two, three, four, five...  
"Bella?" Jacob made me jump and I twisted round a little to look up at him. "Bella, what happened? You can tell me." I stared up at his face, his beautiful dark eyes bored down into mine and I blushed at the intensity. Tears started to form in my eyes and I glanced down again. "Bella, please, you're scaring me."  
"Oh, Jake... please don't," I sighed and slowly moved an arm so it was round him stomach.  
"I want to help you, please Bella. Let me help you." He dropped his head down and gently kissed my head again.  
"I just realised... I just realised he had gone. Actually gone." I said quietly and I felt Jacob take in a deep breath and tightened his arms around me. "I just felt- felt abandoned all over again. It felt worse this time round then before." I stopped and Jake nudged my face up with his arm until I was looking at him again. "I'm sorry Jake; you don't need to hear this." I tried to look away but he grabbed my head forcing me to keep my eyes locked on his.  
"Don't be sorry. I want to help you Bella." He sighed. "I just wish..." He trailed off.  
"Jake..." He looked down at me again and nodded. "Why wasn't I good enough?" I whispered and my voice broke on the last words, a tear spilled over and slid down my cheek. Jacobs face crumbled and he leant down and kissed my cheek, kissing the tear away.  
"Bella, you are good enough. He's not good enough." He whispered and leant his forehead against mine. "How can you possibly think that you aren't good enough for anyone? He's a complete..." Jacob stopped and sighed. "You are amazing Bells, completely amazing."  
"Thanks Jake," I sighed again and pressed myself back into him. "Where am I going to sleep?"  
"My bed, I'm going to sleep here on the couch. You tired now?" Jacob asked and I nodded. "Ok honey, let's get you to bed."

Jacob picked me up and set me on the floor before taking my hand. I followed him to his room, stumbling slightly on my wobbly legs.  
"Um, do you want a t-shirt or something to sleep in?" He asked, going through one of his drawers, he came up with a large white t-shirt and I took it from him. I started to pull off the borrowed clothes and Jake quickly whipped round to face the wall when I pulled the top up over my head. I pulled Jake's t-shirt over my head; it was much too big for me. I pulled my sweatpants off and kicked them in a pile with the rest of my clothes.  
"Jake, I'm decent." Jake turned round and his eyes seemed to bulge slightly before he smiled.  
"So you're all ready, I'll be on the sofa if you need me." He started to leave and I reached out and took his hand.  
"Can't you stay? Please? I'm cold... and I'm scared Jake." I pleaded and Jake smiled.  
"Course I will. Get in." I climbed into his bed and moved over to the side nearest the wall. Jake pulled off his jeans and t-shirt quickly before turning the main light off, leaving only the bedside lamp on. He climbed in beside me and reached for me, pulling me gently onto his chest and wrapping his arm around me. "Warmer now?" I nodded sleepily and wrapped my own arm around his chest.  
"Thank you Jacob, for everything, for looking after me." I whispered into his neck.  
"Anytime Bella, anytime," Jacob brushed a kiss against my forehead and pulled me tighter into him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: everything belongs to Stephenia Meyer. Just to let you know.**

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I woke the next morning, sunlight streaming in though a window the warmth of the light warming me completely. I tensed when I realised I was wrapped in someone's arms... were they... no, the arms were warm, too warm almost. I opened my eyes and looked up into Jacobs' eyes.  
"Jake..." He smiled and unwound one arm from me so I could sit up. "I slept." I was surprised, shocked even. I hadn't slept the night through without nightmares and waking up screaming for months... ever since... Jacob propped himself up on one elbow and stared at me.  
"You're beautiful with messed up hair." He said and I smiled slightly. "You feeling alright this morning?"  
"Fine Jake," I answered automatically and rubbed the sleep from my eyes and stretched slightly. Jacob took hold of one hand and I looked round at him.  
"Really?" He answered and I sighed.  
"It doesn't matter Jacob, it's nothing." I started to get out of bed. "Now, do I get breakfast here?"  
"Bella..." Jacob pinned me down slightly so I couldn't leave.  
"Jacob, my heart feels like its ripping apart. I've finally got it, he left me and he's not coming back. I'm not good enough. I get that as well. It's fine. It's obviously just something that I've got to come to terms with," I wiggled out from his arms and pulled my sweatpants on under Jacobs t-shirt. Jacob pulled his jeans on, an unreadable expression on his face.

I followed him out of his room and into the kitchen. Billy was at the table with a glass of orange juice and a pile of toast in front of him.  
"Good morning." Billy smiled at the two of us and I smiled back. Jacob set about making toast. I hovered uneasily beside him, wondering what to do. "Take a seat Bella, Jacob can just about manage toast." I smiled again and sat down next to Billy. Jacob put a plate of toast and jam in front of me and turned away. My eyes followed him around the kitchen; there was a feeling of anxiety and dread deep in the pit of my stomach. Jacob sat opposite me and pulled a tight smile. I tried to smile back but I'm sure it never reached my eyes. The three of us sat in silence as we ate; the silence was heavy and the tension in the room thickened as the seconds went by. The sound of Charlie pulling up in front of the house and knocking on the door before walking in made me jump.  
"How are you feeling this morning?" Charlie asked after greetings were exchanged.  
"Fine Dad, I must have just got a bit faint that's all." I answered, "I'll go get my things." I left the room and Jacob followed me, helping me collect yesterdays clothes were they hung over one of the radiators.  
"I'll follow you and Charlie in your truck." Jacob said and I nodded.  
"Thanks." I muttered and said goodbye to Billy before following my dad out of the door and climbed into his cruiser.

Jacob pulled up in front of the house into my usual spot. I was sat on the steps up to the front door waiting for him. I stood up as he climbed out of the truck and walked towards me. He dropped the keys into my palm and started to turn away, saying bye over his shoulder as he walked to the forest near the house.  
"Jake, please." I pleaded and Jacob sighed before turning round. His face was blank, his pack face securely on his features. "What have I done?"  
"Nothing, you've done nothing wrong." He said and I stared into his face.  
"What's wrong then?" I whispered, almost scared of what he was going to say.  
"I- I just don't understand. I know He screwed you over, but I don't see how you can't see it."  
"See what?" I asked and Jacob sighed and cupped his warm hand to my face.  
"You're amazing Bella, simply amazing. You're too good for him; you've always been too good for him. I just don't understand how you can't see that. I-I..." He trailed off again. "Well, Bella. I love you. I've loved you for ages. I'm not asking for anything from you, I know you're still hurting but please don't say you're not good enough." He dropped a kiss onto my lips and turned away. He was gone before I could say anything. I turned and walked into the house, not quite believing what had happened.

I didn't see Jacob again for the rest of the week, I rang him every afternoon after school and before I started cooking dinner but he never picked up. Some days Billy picked up and said he would pass on the message to Jake and other days no one picked up and after a few minutes of the phone ringing I would put the phone down, feeling the sting of rejection and defeat. Charlie watched me carefully that first week, wondering if I was falling back under, I felt weird inside and every time that Jacob ignored my calls and didn't get back in touch I felt emptier inside. I was confused, my chest still ached and the stitching was still threatening to unravel. Had I really mucked things up between Jake and I? Why wasn't he getting in touch? Was he angry at me?

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Please review and tell me what you think :)


	3. Chapter 3

I was sat at the table opposite Charlie, picking at my dinner.  
"Bella? What's wrong?" I looked up when Charlie asked.  
"I'm fine Dad, just a little worried about Jacob." I pushed my chicken around the plate and sighed. "He won't ring me back, he won't answer the phone. I don't understand what's going on."  
"Maybe you should go down there tomorrow? He might be in a better mood at the weekend. Maybe he's worried about school." I smiled and Charlie smiled back.  
"Thanks, but don't think you have to make excuses for him. I'll go down to La Push tomorrow." I said and stood up to clear the table.

That night was one of the worst nights in terms of my nightmares. I woke up in the middle of the night screaming, my skin clamming with sweat and my eyes rolling in their sockets. I muffled my screams in my pillow until I was out of breath and unable to scream any longer. I flopped down onto my bed and stared across at my alarm clock. Three A.M. I sighed and rolled onto my side to turn my bedside lamp on. I was too scared to close my eyes and try to go back to sleep so I picked up my book that lay on the floor beside my bed and started to read in an attempt to stop the images flashing though my head.

When my alarm clock turned seven, I heaved my tired body out of bed and into the bathroom. I turned the shower on and quickly stripped off my pyjamas and stepped into the shower. I washed my hair quickly, trying to wash the nightmare images away and the feeling of the sticky sweat that had dried onto my body in the night. I wrapped a towel around myself and then looked at myself in the foggy mirror. I looked terrible; there were deep, dark marks under my eyes, my skin was even paler then usual and the red lines of the blood vessels in my eyes were visible. I sighed and left the bathroom to get dressed.

I was ready to leave for La Push by 8:30; I pulled on a jacket and left the house. I climbed into my truck and pulled out of the drive. I barely noticed the drive to La Push, and before I knew it I was outside Jacob's house. I shut off the engine and slammed the door shut behind me. I stood leaning against my truck staring at the house in front of me. Now I was here I was fearful of what was going to happen. What is Jake refused to see me? What was I going to say anyway? Movement at one of the windows made me jump slightly and I smiled at Billy as he looked out of one of the windows. I stood up straight and took a deep breath before walking over to the front door and knocking. I waited for a few seconds and Billy opened the door.  
"Hey Billy, Jake in?" I asked and Billy nodded.  
"He's asleep though, why don't you go down to the beach and I'll send him along when I can wake him." Billy suggested and I nodded.  
"Thanks, I'll see you later." I turned from the door and made the short walk down to the beach. I stood a couple of feet away from the tides edge and stared at across the water.

I stood here for a while, simply staring out into the distance with my hands shoved deep into my jacket pockets. The sun was beginning to shine through the clouds and I closed my eyes and raised my face to the light allowing the sun to warm my face. I shivered suddenly and sighed.  
"Bella, what are you doing here?" I turned around. Jacob's voice was empty of all emotion.  
"Jacob, I was worried." I took a step towards him but Jake took a step back. "Jake, please."  
"Bella, I can't." He stopped. "Just go home OK." He turned to go.  
"Jake, I don't understand. What have I done wrong?" I asked and Jacob turned over and stared at me.  
"I told you; you've done nothing wrong." Jacob said and ran his hand through his hair. "I just can't be around you at the moment. I don't know what to say, I've tried. I don't like the way you feel like you do, I try so hard to make you feel better; but it doesn't work. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to help you."  
"Jacob, please. I need you." The words burst out of my mouth and he took a step towards me. "I need you." I repeated and Jacob sighed before he wrapped an arm around my waist. "You do make me feel better; I wouldn't be able to cope without you. You mean the world to me. Please, don't you leave me too." His other arm snaked around me and I pressed against his chest.  
"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to hurt you. I won't leave you honey. I'm here." Jacob whispered and I sighed, starting to relax into his chest.  
"For always?" I asked and brought my hand up to his chest.  
"For always." He promised and kissed my forehead. I relaxed further into him, wrapping my spare arm around his waist. "I love you Bella."  
"Thank you Jake." We stood here hugging for a while, both of us looking out into the sea.  
"Bella?" Jake tightened his arms around me and I looked up at him. "Do you think you could ever love anyone else... could ever love me?"  
"Jake..." I sighed and closed my eyes. "I don't know. I can't think at the moment. You know I love you Jake but I don't know if I could ever let myself fall in love again. I don't want to be hurt again."  
"Bella, I just told you. I would never hurt you. Don't you trust me?" Jacob asked and I opened my eyes again and stared into his eyes.  
"I do trust you. I trust you completely. But I still feel broken inside. I can't be with you and feel like this. It's not fair on you." I said and Jake closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Please, Jake, please tell me you understand."  
"I understand Bella, but isn't that my decision? Whether it's fair on me or not? Maybe I don't mind. Maybe I want to fix you. I could do that. I could make you feel better. You know I love you, you know I would never leave you like that-lee- like he did. You know everything about me. Bella, please. At least think about it." His voice broke down into a whisper and I nodded.  
"I can do that." I said and he smiled. I rested my head on his chest and sighed. "This is nice."  
"Mmmm." Jacob mumbled into my head. I closed my eyes; I felt warm and safe. I frowned; my chest wasn't tight, I could breath. I could breathe better then I had been able to in months. My heart felt weird, felt different; not whole, not complete but fixable. Fixable? Jake?

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**Thanks for all the reviews that people have posted, it's always lovely to know that people are enjoying what you're writing. Please keep on reviewing and telling me what you're thinking about it etc. **

**I have written enough for another few chapters, I have pieces written for future episodes (I got an idea when I was lying in bed and just had to write it there and then before I forgot it), but if you have any ideas or any suggestions or questions feel free to ask. :)**

**Disclaimer: As always, all characters etc actually belong to Stephenie Meyer, not me. Unfortunatly.**

**Enjoy.**


	4. Chapter 4

I left Jacob's later that day; I drove home slowly, my brain too preoccupied to drive fast. What was I thinking? How could I even think of being with Jacob? Of having a relationship with him. I parked my truck and ran inside the house and up to my room. I sat on the windowsill and stared outside. But was it really that stupid? Was it really that weird a thing? Jacob was right, I did know everything about him, and he knew all about me. I trust him with everything. Of course I loved him; I'd always loved him as a friend. I loved being with him, I loved spending time with him. I could spend hours in his company without getting bored, without wanting to leave. Was it really so strange for this to change? He would be perfect. It could potentially be perfect. I bit my lip, confused. I sighed and leant my head back against the window. If anyone could fix me then Jake would be the one who could do it.

That night I was unable to sleep. I stared awake staring at the ceiling for hours, thoughts spiralling though my head. I turned on my side and picked my phone up. Could I ring him? I started to dial Jacob's number but erased it before I could hit the call button. I put the phone back on my bedside table and lay back down with a sigh. I rolled over so I was facing the wall and pulled the duvet up over my shoulders and closed my eyes tightly.

The next morning, I looked as terrible as I had the previous morning. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and pulled on some jeans and a jumper. I was too tired to worry about what I looked like; if he loved me like he said he did then he would love me when I looked like I hadn't slept for a week. I pulled up outside Jacob's house again and stared down at my hands on the steering wheel. _Just get out of the truck and knock on the door,_ I shouted at myself in my head. _Come on, you can do this._ I sighed and counted to ten before stepping out of the truck and finding myself face to face with Jacob.  
"Oh."  
"You sound surprised to see me." Jacob teased, "Even though you are at my house."  
"I didn't see you out here; I thought I would have to knock." I said and shoved my hands down into my jeans pockets. "Billy about?"  
"No, he's gone fishing I think." I nodded and bit my lip, staring at the ground beside our feet. "What are you doing here so early? You look terrible." Jacob said and I grimaced.  
"Thanks Jacob, you really know how to make a girl feel good about herself." I said and playfully slapped his arm.  
"I didn't mean anything by it, you just look tired." He said smiling and rubbing his arm.  
"I couldn't sleep last night." I said and looked back down at the ground. "I couldn't stop thinking."  
"What about?" Jacob asked and I sighed. "Bella?"  
"What you said yesterday." I admitted, "I don't know what'll happen, but I don't think I should just leave it and ignore it just because of what's happened in the past. I care about you Jake. You're right; you could be the one to make me feel better. Jacob, if anyone could fix me, it's you. I just... I don't know." I stopped and sighed. I still hadn't looked up at his face. "What if it doesn't work? What if it ends up in tears and I'm alone again and my heart is ripped to pieces all over again? What if I kiss you and that's it, you find out that you aren't actually in love with me and we can't look into each others eyes any more. Everything would be ruined completely." I stopped and Jacob put his hands on my arms.  
"Bella, look at me." I slowly raised my eyes until I was at his face. Jake's beautiful face was smiling and I smiled back slightly. "Why don't we try and see." He teased and I said nothing. Jake's face moved closer towards me, I closed my eyes and his lips brushed mine gently. My lips burnt against his as he pressed his lips against mine again. He pulled me closer to him and held me against his body before pulling away to look at me. "How was that?" He asked and I blushed.  
"Well, it wasn't awful." I answered and Jacob smiled. He hugged me to him and I put my arms around his neck. "Try again." I said and Jacob grinned down at me.

I was laid, stretched out on the couch in Jacob's living room, my body pressed against the length of his, his arms tight around me holding me close, holding me close. The air around us was filled with the sounds of Jacob's snores as he slept peacefully behind me, my eyes fluttered shut, strangely comforted by the sound of his sleep. I pressed my back closed to him, enjoying his natural warmth. I had been cold for so long, lying with arms of stone locked around me, it was perhaps time to turn my face to the sun. Time to warm my heart, my bones, my skin. My eyes grew heavier and slowly I fell asleep again.

When I woke again, Jacob's snores had gone and the air around me was cold. I sat up quickly and stared around the empty room.  
"Jacob?" I called, anxious at his disappearance. There was no reply. "Jacob, are you here?" I got up off the couch and walked through the house, peering into each room as I passed, each one was empty. I opened the front door and walked out a step. "Jacob?" I called again, louder this time.  
"Bella, we're in the garage." I heard Jacob call back and I quickly pulled on my shoes and jacket before walking round to Jacob's garage where we had spent hours of time together before Jacob had turned into a werewolf. I walked in and Embry and Quil smiled at me from where they were sat in Jacob's Rabbit. I was suddenly all too aware off my messed up bed hair and the dark marks under my eyes. I tried to smooth my hair from my face and down into a more manageable ponytail as Jacob walked over to me and placed a quick kiss on my lips. "You sleep alright?" He asked and I blushed slightly at his teasing tone.  
"I wasn't the only one sleeping; your snores could wake the dead." I said and Jacob grinned, dropping another kiss on my face. Jacob grabbed my hand and pulled me over to his old car, "Erm, Jacob- I should probably go you know. Charlie will be wondering where I am and the like." I said and Jacob looked over. "I have to get ready for school tomorrow."  
"What's wrong?" Jacob asked quietly and I shook my head.  
"Nothing, I just think I should go home now. Your friends are here, I don't want to get in the way of boy time." I said and squeezed Jacob's hand. "So... I'll see you in the week?" I asked and Jacob smiled.  
"I'll be back in a second; I'll just walk Bella to her truck." Jacob said and pulled me out of the garage. "Now, what's wrong Bella?" Jacob asked, his hands on my shoulders keeping me from moving.  
"Nothing's wrong Jacob. I just don't want to get into this too quickly. It's not going to be that easy. I'm not ready for public displays yet. Is that alright Jake? That we take this all really slow?" I asked and Jacob smiled.  
"Is that all you were worried about? I was worried for a second. Of course that's ok." He said and kissed me on the forehead. I climbed into the truck and smiled at him.  
"I'll see you later on this week, ok?" I said and leant down to kiss him gently on the mouth. I slammed the truck door shut and reversed away from Jake's house, waving to him as I went.

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**Hey, hope you're all enjoying it, if you are or if you're not please review it and let me know. **

**Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. All belong to Miss Meyer.**


	5. Chapter 5

That week passed in a blur, school, cooking dinner, chores, homework, I flittered though the week, always busy and for the first time in many months always happy. Always happy, always smiling. I hadn't seen Charlie this happy since before Edward had left, he was smiling again- happy to see me happy and he started to get comfortable about leaving the house again and leaving me alone so he could see his friends and go fishing. My friends were all shocked to hear me talk again, so many months had passed where I would just follow them around silently, there but not paying attention. I had no idea what any one was up to and was surprised to find out that Mike and Jessica had broken up a month ago and that Angela and Ben were together still. The sight of them holding hands at the lunch table was enough to make me smile. Angela forgave me instantly when I came back to life again, she was happy just to pick up where we left off before I have broken down and become nothing more then a zombie. Mike was the same; after getting used to the fact I was talking and laughing again he accepted me back into the folds. It was only Jessica and Lauren who seemed to have a problem with the fact that I was back, neither of them were pleased and I heard them talking about me as I walked behind them to class. But it didn't seem to bother me, I was fixing. Every day I watched myself as the dead drained out of my eyes, as the colour came back to my cheeks again, and as my voice and laughter sounds normal again. Edward had taken me away but Jacob had brought me back again.

The weekends I spent with Jacob at La Push, we explored the woods, walked on the beach and swam in the sea. I started to watch Television and movies again, sitting as close to Jacob as I could. I went with Jacob to the packs' bonfires and meetings; I spent time with Emily helping her cook up a feast every lunch time for the boys to eat. I was accepted as Jacobs girlfriend almost instantly, the transition from friend to girlfriend happened flawlessly. Emily, Sam nor Quil mentioned the night on the cliff, not to me anyway. Life seemed to be simple, almost.

I was worried. Still, there was no doubt about it, I was worried. After two months I was still maintaining the going slow between Jacob and I and I knew he was getting some stick from some of the Pack because of it. I was too scared to do anything more then kiss him, I had heard Quil and Embry laughing with Jacob and offering him advice about how to get 'under the bra' but I couldn't face it. I don't think I was ready for the Pack to know, to see it all when they were all in their wolf states. I was worried I wouldn't be able to do it right. I was worried about Jacob. I was worried about the supposedly rare legends of the Wolves imprinting. We had all seen how it affected Leah when Sam had imprinted on Emily, and now Paul and Quil had both imprinted; Paul on Jacob's older sister Rachel and Quil on Emily's niece Claire, who was only two. As sweet as it was to see Quil as an older brother type who never got tired or bored, it worried me. What if Jacob imprinted? What if he imprinted and then I was pushed aside again, just like before. My heart, which had been ripped and torn apart until it was almost completely destroyed had been sewn and stitched up, with only a couple more stitches to go until it was complete, until I was fixed and able to give myself fully to Jacob. But these thoughts, this worry which kept me awake at nights was enough to stop those stitches being made. I couldn't allow myself to give myself fully to Jake, I couldn't allow myself to be completely heartbroken again, and so I held back. I stopped Jacob whenever he got too close, I couldn't say I loved him, even though I knew that I did, I couldn't let myself become completely vulnerable again. I didn't want to be hurt again. I know Jake was worrying about me; when we were quiet and silent together he would tighten his arms around me until I was tight against his chest, and nuzzled his face into my neck as if he were breathing me in, breathing in my scent.  
"Bella, talk to me." He pleaded quietly in my ear and I shivered as his breathe drew goose bumps up down my back.  
"There's nothing to say, I'm fine. I'm happy with you." I said and kissed him to stop him from questioning me more.

I was sat in Emily's Kitchen, idly doing my Calculus homework and watching her as she flitted around the kitchen, baking muffins and preparing enough coffee for an army to drink. Sam, Jacob and Jared were out patrolling and instead of driving home I had driving round to Emily's to keep her company. Hers and Sams' place was comforting and homey; it made me feel warm just being here.  
"Bella, can I talk to you about something?" Emily asked as she put a mug of coffee on the table in front of her before she sat down.  
"Sure." I said and smiled, but Emily didn't smile back, a lump started to form in my throat.  
"Jacob's worried about you; he's starting to annoy the Pack. I said I would talk to you," Emily said and I nodded slowly, "What's bothering you?"  
"I'm- I'm scared." I said quietly, staring down at my notebook on the table.  
"What about?" Emily asked softly. I sighed and started to flick my pencil against the book.  
"So many things," I said and looked up into her face. "I'm scared to let myself go, I'm scared that the Pack will see everything, I'm scared that I will never truly be enough to keep Jacob, I'm scared that Jacob will- will- will imprint and leave me. Just like Edward did. I couldn't take it; I couldn't face my heart ripping apart again completely. I can't let my heart completely mend; I can't let Jacob fix me completely because what if he breaks me again." My voice broke, and tears began to stream down my face, I laid my head down on the table. I felt Emily reach across and stroke my head gently. A noise made me jump and as I lifted my head up from the table I saw the Pack walk into the kitchen. My eyes closed in on Jacob and his smile dropped as he saw my tear stained face. He pushed though the Pack and crouched down in front of me, holding my face in his hands.  
"Bella, what's wrong?" He wiped the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs and stared into my eyes. I stared back, trying to calm down, trying to stop the spill of tears but it seemed impossible. I glanced at Emily and then stood up.  
"I need to go home." I collected together my things and shoved them in my bag. "Thanks Emily, I'll- I'll see you all later." The boys spilt into two groups so I could leave and I ran out of the house and down to were I parked my truck. I heard footsteps behind me and a pair of hands whirled me round before I could wrench my truck door open.  
"Bella. Stop." Jacob stared into my face. "What's happened? Tell me. What have I done wrong?"  
"It's nothing Jacob. You've done nothing wrong. I-I just can't do this. I can't take it." I said and Jacob stepped back, letting my arms go. "I can't take my heart being broken again, when there's nothing I can do to change your mind." I whispered and opened my truck.  
"I don't understand Bella. I'm not going to hurt you; I want to be with you. For always, like I promised." Jacob said and I stared at my hands gripping my steering wheel, my knuckles turning whiter and whiter the hard I gripped.  
"You say that now Jake, but you don't know what'll happen tomorrow. You don't know who you are going to meet. You'll have no choice, I've heard the stories. I'm not stupid. I can't win against it, no matter how hard I fought. So it's better if I leave now when I'm halfway fixed and normal then it is when you've moved on and I'm in pieces again." I said and sighed. "I love you Jake, but is that going to be enough." I slammed the truck door and drove away.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- Hey guys. I wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed and favourite this story. Spread the word, pleasums.**

**I've been a little naughty this last week or so and haven't been working on this story as much as I should have. I have another couple of chapters left but I have been working on a new story; it's a bit darker then this one but I hope you'll all go and read it anyway. It started out as another Bella/Jacob story and then went to a Bella/Edward one and now I'm unsure what will happen- I'll have to wait and see just like you all will. It's called Feeling and I'll be posting up the first chapter in a day or so. Hope you read and enjoy.**

_Jacob walked back into the house and closed the front door behind him. Silently he walked back into the kitchen and slumped down into a chair. The rest of the Pack looked up into his dejected face before turning away and concentrating on the food that was in front of them.  
"She's gone." Jacob said and Emily put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "She said she loved me but she still left me." Emily pulled out a chair and sat beside him. "What did she say to you?" He asked and Emily took a breath before looking at Sam. He nodded and Emily turned her attention back to Jacob, who was staring desperately at her.  
"She's afraid." Emily said and Jacob frowned.  
"What of?"  
"Of you-" Emily started and Jacob interrupted.  
"But I've don't nothing. I've not done anything bad, I've looked after her. I've helped her. She said she loved me." Jacob said and Emily took one of his hands.  
"No, Jacob, No. She's scared you'll leave her because you'll imprint on someone else. She thinks she's not good enough for you." Emily said and Jacob stared at her.  
"But that's stupid. It's her, it's always been her." Jacob said. "It's her."  
"Well then maybe you need to tell her that." Sam said and Jacob looked around at him.  
"I didn't want to scare her off; I wanted her to be with me because of me." Jacob said and Sam nodded.  
"And she was, but now you have to tell her to keep her with you." Sam said and Jacob nodded slowly. "Go, go tell her."_

"Bella? Let me in." Charlie was knocking on my door but I was blocking out the knocks and his shouts through the door as I lay curled up underneath my quilt, the tears still pouring down my cheeks. "Bella, please, what's happened?" Charlie knocked on the door a few more times before he seemed to give up. I heard him walk downstairs and I relaxed slightly, hugging my legs to my chest. I jerked my head out from under the quilt when I heard a different sounding knock on my bedroom door.  
"Bella, its Jacob. Let me in. I need to talk to you." I sat up straight as I heard my Jacob call through the door. "Bella please." I stood up slowly but stayed standing near my bed. "Bella, Emily told me you were scared. Please, I need to talk to you, but I don't want to do it though the door. Please let me in. I'll say what I have to say and then I'll leave." He sounded like he was almost begging and then there was a deeper thud against the door, it sounded like he had dropped his head against the wood. I walked over to the door and slowly unlocked the door. I pulled it open silently and Jacob walked in shutting the door behind him.  
"What is it Jacob?" I asked and he walked over to me, drying my cheeks with his hands. I closed my eyes and started to pull my face away but he turned his hands and took hold of my head.  
"Was Emily right? Are you afraid I'll imprint?" Jacob asked and I opened my eyes.  
"I can't compete against the girl you'll imprint with." I said quietly. "I don't want to wait around until then."  
"Oh Bella." Jacob smiled slightly. "Are you really that stupid?" I jerked my head back, hurt flashing across my face. I balled my hands up and pushed against his chest, but I was never strong enough to push him away. "Bella. It's you. It's always been you." I stared at him, my hands still balled up into fists against his hot chest. "I've already imprinted." I stared up at him, unable to take my eyes off his.  
"I imprinted on you." He paused, looked down at me. Worry crossed his face and his grip tightened slightly on my head. "Bella, say something please." I shook my head and opened my mouth before closing it again.  
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked and Jacob smiled.  
"I wanted you to be with me for me not because you thought you had to be. When a wolf imprints they'll be what ever that person needs. You needed a friend; you needed a rock, not a boyfriend." Jacob let go of my head but pulled me to him in a hug. "What do you think? Is it ok? Are you ok?"  
"I'm fine. I'm shocked." I said, my brain was too slow to process everything all at once. "Are you sure?" I asked and Jacob burst out laughing.  
"I've never been more sure of anything." He said, "I told you I would never hurt you. I told you I loved you. I won't leave you. For always remember?" He brushed the hair that had stuck to my sticky cheek off my face and cupped my face. "I love you Isabella Swan, I want to be with you for always if you'll have me." I stared up into his face. My Jacob stared down into my eyes, a slight smile on his face.  
"My Jacob, "I breathed and I watched his face break into a larger smile before his lips came crashing down onto mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I started to feel my legs turn to mush and jelly. Jacob picked me up slightly and pulled me down on my bed.  
"Your Jacob." He agreed and his hands tangled in my hair as I lost myself into another kiss. I ran up hands down his back as he lay on top of me. Jacob's lips broke from mine and I was surprised to feel a sense of loss shock though my body until his lips brushed down the side of my neck. Jacob's skin was warm and soft beneath my hands and I gripped his back, his arms, his shoulders, his face. Jacob's fingers reached up my t-shirt to brush softly down the side of my rip-cage and stomach sending shivers up and down my body and making me sigh out loud. "Bella," I heard Jacob sigh my name into my ear before he kissed the lobe, pulling on it gently with his lips and teeth. "I love you." I smiled and pulled him closer to me. I could feel Jacob's heat surrounding me, warming everything.  
"I love you Jacob." I whispered and as I said it I felt the last few holes in my heart repair, fixed, whole. Jacob turned his head and kissed me again gently, softly, tenderly before he pulled away to stare down into my eyes. He stroked my hot, flushed cheeks and grinned.  
"You're all flushed." He said and kissed the tip of my nose. "You look beautiful." He settled his forehead against mine and I closed my eyes, breathing in the warmth and his scent. He jerked his head up and quickly sat up, removing the heat. I automatically sat up to follow him, my eyes questioning his actions. "Charlie's coming up the stairs; I don't think he'd be too pleased to see me lying on top of you on your bed." I sat up, throwing my legs over the side of the bed and Jacob moved to sit next to me taking old of one of my hands in his own and squeezing it gently.  
"Feeling better now Bella?" Charlie asked as he pushed open my bedroom door. "What was all the crying about earlier?"  
"Bella and I had an argument but it's sorted now." Jacob answered for me and I looked over at him. I could barely tear my eyes away from his face long enough to look at Charlie.  
"Keep your bedroom door open if Jacobs here, Bella." Charlie said and I nodded. Charlie disappeared out of my room and I heard him clump back down the stairs and Jacob grinned at me.  
"Don't think Charlie approves of you having boys in your room." Jacob said and knocked me back down onto my bed.  
"I wonder why," I laughed and pulled him closer to him, as close as possible before reaching up to kiss him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey, thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed. I'm still being bad and haven't written much more on this then what I have already typed up as I have been focusing on my other story (Feeling) but I have a couple more chapters typed up so I have another couple of weeks worth of posts before I have to write more.**

**Heres the next chapter. Please review and let me know what you think :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Twilight Characters. Unfortunatly.**

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Time passed, as it always does. I was happier then I had been for months, which in turn seemed to make everyone else around me happier. I don't know if that was because people were glad to see me happy again or if because I was happy I was seeing the whole world through new eyes.

I breezed through school, spending most of my time with Angela, Ben and Mike and trying to avoid being involved in Jessica and Lauren's bitchy comments. Charlie was pleased I was no longer failing calculus and that Jacob had pulled me up out of my blank stare and pushed me higher then I had been before the dive. Him and Billy seemed to enjoy joking about being in-laws and it was nice to see Billy's eyes crinkle up with pleasure at the sight of Jacob happy.

Everything felt perfect.

Mike ruffled my hair as he passed and dumped his tray on the table.  
"I am planning a spring party type gathering. Of course you all need to attend." He announced, both his hands held high.  
"Where is it going to be held?" Jessica asked.  
"Where are all Mike's gatherings held- the beach at La Push." Eric said.  
"Indeed." Mike agreed. "Bonfire, surfing, barbeques, plenty of dark places for couples to go off and hide." At the last part he nudged me in the side with his elbow and winked. "This Saturday, meet there at three, how about it?" He asked and most of the table nodded and broke into discussions about food, drink and music. Angela turned to me,  
"You going to come Bella?" She asked, her quiet voice almost lost beneath the excited chatter of the rest of the table. "You haven't come to the beach with us for ages. It'll be really good if you could come." I smiled and nodded.  
"I'll come. I spend most weekends down at the reservation anyway. It'll be fun." I said and smiled, pleasantly excited at the idea of spending some time out of Forks' High School with my friends.

As I pulled up outside the house later that afternoon after stopping at the supermarket on the way back I spotted a figure leaning casually against a tree at the edge of the forest and a pleasing warmth spread from the pit of my stomach when I recognised their beautiful face. Jacob broke into an almost matching grin as he bounded over to help me with my many grocery bags.  
"You're an angel, I'm absolutely starving." He announced as he held the door open for me to stumble through.  
"You're always hungry." I said and dumped my bags on the table and fell exhausted into a chair. "If you put the food away I'll love you forever and be your best friend for life." I said and Jacob laughed.  
"My sleepy Bella. Have you been doing too much lately?" He cupped my chin in his hand and pressed a kiss firmly onto my lips. "It's a deal."

I watched him as he unpacked the shopping and put it away, he had been here and made himself something to eat so many times by now that he knew where everything belong and again I was surprised by how pleased that made me feel.  
"What are you smiling about?" Jacob asked as he got the bread out.  
"You," I answered and stood up to slip my arms around his waist. "You make me happy in so many ways."  
"I'm glad," Jacob said. "I'm happy your eyes and laughter is back properly. It makes you even more lovable then you were four months ago, which I thought would be impossible." I smiled and pressed a kiss to his bare back. I was stood behind him, my arms wrapped tight around his chest.  
"If you're making sandwiches, I'll have a grilled cheese." I said and squeezed tighter.  
"Demanding girl," He twisted round to smile at me, "But ok, as it's you."  
"School should not be this exhausting." I complained as I sat down and dug into my bag. "I know this is my last year and all but all the teachers are giving us insane amounts of work to do. And colleges, none of them will stop talking about college applications. It's driving me bonkers." I threw my English book on the table and sighed. Jacob sat down next to me, a pile of grilled cheese sandwiches on a plate between us. I picked one up, muttered my thanks and took a bite before I glanced up at Jacob's face, where there was a worried pull to his features. "What's wrong?" I asked and leant forward.  
"What are you doing about college?" He asked in a small voice. "Are you going far?" I pulled a corner off the sandwich and chewed it slowly.  
"I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. The closest major college is a couple of hours away; I could always go to the community college." I said, "I could put it off for a year. There's no drastic need to go straight away."  
"No, if you want to go, you should go wherever you want that to be." Jacob sighed and bit off half a sandwich and chewed it almost sadly.  
"Jacob, can we forget about this for now? I really don't know what I want to do about it. I'll tell you as soon as I have decided." I reached across and took his hand and kissed his palm. "Promise," Jacob smiled and leant forward to close the distance between us.

I followed Jacob to the front door but before I could open the door he pressed closer to me, pushing my back against the wall. His fingers slipped up my shirt, his mouth crushed onto mine. His fingers seemed to burn a hot trail up my side and stopped just below my breast, my heart pounded in my chest and I felt Jacob smile against my lips. His tongue licked along the edge of my bottom lip before he deepened the kiss, pulling me closer to him. My body was tensed, waiting for what he was going to do next. Jacob had never touched me before, not like this, nobody had. His thumb edged slowly underneath the bottom of my bra to stroke the soft skin that hid there. All my breath left me all of a sudden in a sigh. I felt his thumb stroke higher and higher up my breast until he brushed across my nipple so softly I wasn't even sure that he had touched it to begin with. My nipple hardened in response to this foreign, new touch and my hands lost again, tangled in Jacob's hair, pulling his face close to mine, never wanting this moment, this kiss to end. I could hear my heart beat pulse in my ears and I could feel Jacob's heart pounding though my chest as he pulled me closer still, his hot hand still stroking my skin until it was so sensitive it almost hurt for him to even brush against it.  
"God, Bella." Jacob breathed against my mouth; the rush of air against my kiss- swollen lips sent a tingle down my spine before he pulled away.  
"Don't stop." I whispered, trying to pull him back close, my body instinctively following the heat as it left me.  
"I don't want to; believe me, but Charlie's going to be home soon." He said and slowly slipped his hand out from under my top. "When will you be at mine on Saturday?" He asked as I was brushing my hair down into a less obvious mess.  
"Oh, I won't be able to spend all of Saturday with you and the pack. Mike's having a group thing and I told Angela I would go. I haven't been to one since before Ed- well since before." I said and turned to face him. "Is that ok? It's at First beach so you can always drop by..."  
"Of course it's ok" Jacob smiled and dropped a kiss on my forehead. "Now, I'd better go before Charlie gets back and finds me groping his daughter." Jacob disappeared out of the door and less then a minute later Charlie pulled up into his space in front of the house.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey all, Sorry about the delay with posting this... I've been a little distracted with my Jasper/Bella story (Feeling) and I've started writing an Edward/Bella one... but as thats only handwritten yet and I'm unsure whether it'll ever be 'right' I'm not sure if i'll be posting it. It's different to this, dark themes and the like. It's a different style to my usual writing so I'm really not sure if its good or not- to me it just reads wierd.**

**Well, hope you like this chapter, please review and let me know :)**

**Disclaimer: All Twilight Characters not owned by me, I just like to play with them.**

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I rushed down the stairs on Saturday as Angela honked her horn from her car outside.  
"Come on slow coach," Charlie called. "She's honked twice already."  
"I know, I know." I said and after pulling on my jacket, grabbed my rucksack of clean clothes, the two picnic style blankets I had found and the grocery bag full of drinks and snack food. Charlie opened the front door me, "I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Have fun." Charlie called and I climbed into the back of Angela's car. Ben twisted round in the passenger seat and eyed my bags with a laugh.  
"Charlie went a little overboard with the food. He's pleased I'm going out and seeing people." I explained.  
"We're all pleased." Angela said and she smiled at me in the rear view mirror. "Jessica thinks there's a guy involved. Thought I'd warn you now before her and Lauren pounce on your today demanding information."  
"Jessica always thinks there's a guy involved. It's all she ever thinks about." I said watching the now familiar streets do by. But a smile started to grow on my face. Angela eyed me in the mirror and glanced over at Ben.  
"So... Bella, is there a guy involved?" Angela asked and I felt a blush spread across my cheeks, causing Ben and Angela to start laughing.  
"Maybe." I said quietly and Ben twisted round in his seat again.  
"So, who is it? Mike will be disappointed again." He said, "Anyone from school?" I shook my head.  
"Is it a guy from La Push, is he the reason you spend your weekends here?" Angela asked as she pulled into the parking lot.  
"Maybe." I answered but the blush that spread across my cheek gave me away.

Ben carried the food bags and Angela and I followed with our blankets and bags. Mike and Eric were the only ones at the beach when we arrived; Ben joined them in hunting for driftwood. Mike's car was pulled up to the edge of the beach, we put the food into the open boot and laid out a blanket. Angela dropped to sit on the blanket and pulled me down to sit next to her. We watched the boys gather the wood before starting to build the fire in silence.  
"I'm glad you've moved on and gotten over Edward, Bella." Angela said hugging her knees to her chest. "It kind of hurt to see you so sad."  
"I'm sorry." I said and Angela shook her head.  
"I don't mean to make you feel bad. I know Jessica's being mean about that time, but I just wanted you to know that you being happy again, it's nice." I leaned back on my hands and turned my face up to catch the sunlight as it streamed through the clouds, enjoying the early season warmth.  
"Jacob said the same thing."  
"Jacob the guy you've been seeing?" Angela asked and I turned to look at her and nodded shyly.  
"It's been a few months, I haven't wanted to jinx it. We've been taking it slowly, I wasn't sure if I was ready for a relationship after, well after Edward left. I didn't want to be that vulnerable again." Angela nodded.  
"It was hard to trust Ben and I had never had anything as bad happen."  
"Jacob's just been so understanding, so amazing through all of it. He was the one who picked me up and put me back together. I couldn't help but love him just for that. But there's so much more to it." I stopped, suddenly embarrassed about saying to much. Angela smiled, obviously feeling my embarrassment and we both turned to watch the boys discussing how to light the driftwood fire they had constructed.

Darkness was creeping in, the fire had been lit- green and blue flames lit out faces as we lay out on our blankets. I was laid, stretched out on my front, propped up on my elbows eating a packet of chips when Eric looked up behind me.  
"There's some people coming." He said and Jessica made a squealing noise. Angela rolled her eyes at me. I giggled and rolled over onto my back in order to see who was coming.  
"Hey Bells." Jacobs' familiar growl came out of the darkness. "Though we would drop in on the party. Make sure you've not destroying out beach."  
"Don't be silly, as if we'd do that." I laughed and Jacob, Embry and Quil walked into the circle of light created by the fire. "Guys, this is Jacob, Quil and Embry," I said gesturing to the three new arrivals. "And these are Angela, Ben, Eric, Lauren, Jessica and Mike." I pointed around the circle and Jacob sat beside me on my blanket. Quil and Embry moved around the fire to be closer to Lauren and Jessica. Loud conversation broke out between them and Jacob took advantage of the distraction in order to kiss me gently, hugging me to him.  
"Missed you," He muttered into my hair and I relaxed into his arms.  
"Missed you too," I whispered back, warming my chilly fingers on his skin.

I fell asleep that night wrapped in Jacob's arms, pressed against him as much as possible. The rest had set up tents on the edge of the beach but me and Jacob lay in the dying light of the fire on my blankets, whispering and kissing into the night, until I fell asleep, warm and comfortable under the stars.

The sun was brightly shining down on me and Jacob, so bright I buried my face further into Jacob's neck. We were lying facing each other; he had his arms around me and I had one arm wrapped round him, gripping on to his shoulder tightly. Even in sleep I clung to Jacob. Shadows passed over us, blocking out a lot of the sun. My frown relaxed slightly before pulling back. The people were whispering, and I couldn't quite make out what they were saying.  
"1... 2... 3..." Cold water suddenly hit me in the face. Jacob woke with a gasp as Quil and Embry, a large bottle of water in each hand, soaked us completely. I stood up, my t-shirt clinging damply to me and pushed wet hair off my face, shrieking slightly. Jacob jumped up and started to chase Embry out down the beach. I glared at Quil, who grinned sheepishly;  
"It was too good not to do." He said and I huffed.  
"You're lucky it's warm today." I said and looked around at our little camp. As I expected Jessica and Lauren were giggling at my drowned rat look.  
"Looking good Bella," Lauren called and I huffed again and turned around. Jacob and Embry were walking back towards us, playing fighting and laughing as they went. Despite the early morning warmth I started to shiver.  
"Come on Bella, we should go get you dry." Jacob said and I nodded.  
"Thanks for this guys. Angela, can you tell Mike thanks as well when he finally gets up." Angela nodded and I smiled. "I'll see you all tomorrow." I gathered up my wet blanket, which I threw at Quil to carry and between the two of them Embry and Jake carried the rest of my stuff back to Jacob's house. I waved at my friends before running to catch up with the boys.

"Do you want a shower?" Jacob asked as I walked into his bedroom.  
"That would be nice." I said and quickly pulled my jeans and t-shirt off and hung them over the radiator to start to dry before I realised that Jacob had stopped talking. I twisted round to see Jacob staring and I suddenly felt self-conscious standing in front of him with damp, messy hair wearing nothing but my underwear.  
"What?" I asked, a deep blush spreading across my cheeks. "I know you've seen a girl in her underwear before." I joked.  
"But not a real girl," Jacob said before looking embarrassed. I looked around for something to cover me up with but Jacob came towards me shaking his head. "No, no," he took his t-shirt from me and threw it back down to the floor. "You're even more beautiful then I thought you would be." He breathed, brushing me hair away off my face.  
"So you've thought about me in various states of undress?" I asked as Jacob pulled me towards him.  
"Well, well yeah." Jacob said, pressing me to his chest. "Now be quiet so I can kiss you."

His lips brushed against mine gently at first before he crushed me to him. His skin was hot on mine and his tongue, his lips were making shivers run up and down my spine. His hands circled my waist, his fingers brushed over my damp skin, goose bumps exploding where they trailed. My breathing was becoming heavier and then we were lying on his bed, our legs tangled up together, my hands pulling at his body trying to get my closer- always closer. I wiggled as his jeans button dug into my hip bone and Jacob groaned into my mouth, this hands gripping me tighter. I stiffened instantly and Jacob pulled away.  
"What's wrong?" He asked, our breathing matched, both of us were gasping for air.  
"I didn't hurt you?" I asked quietly and Jacob shook his head before bringing his head back down to mine. "Wait, your jeans. The button's digging into my stomach." Jacob looked into my eyes as if searching for answers before he sat up and quickly pulled his jeans off and dumping them on the floor, leaving him wearing nothing but his boxer shorts.

He knelt up on the bed in front of me and I couldn't help staring. I knelt up in front of him and reached up to trace the lines of his muscles on his chest. Feather light, my hands trembling slightly, I stroked his skin. He was so much warmer then other people. His eyes were closed as I stroked along his collar bone, his lips parted slightly. He was beautiful. There was no doubt about it. I reached up to kiss him, my tongue slipping though his lips. He clutched me to him and I felt his desire just as easily as I felt my own. We fell back down onto the bed, I couldn't stop touching him; his back, his chest, his shoulders, his thighs. Jacob licked my neck, my back arched up into his chest and he snaked one hand around to my bra strap and after a few seconds of fumbling my bra was also dropped onto the floor. His lips continued their blazing trail down my neck. I gasped for breath, my heart beat pounding in my ears, my stomach. A quiet moan escaped my lips as Jacob's tongue passed over my nipple and I blushed. I closed my eyes, too embarrassed to watch what Jacob was doing.

With my eyes closed, the feeling my body was creating seemed to intensify. Warm feelings of pleasure and desire pooled in the base of my stomach and licked up my sides as I twisted and wiggled under Jacob's hands.  
"God," I breathed before pulling Jacobs head up from my chest and crushed my lips to his. His hands replaced his mouth on my breast and I sighed into his mouth. I felt his hand slide down the side of my ribcage and his fingers twisted into the side of my underwear. I pulled away from Jacobs's lips and grabbed his wrist as he started to pull them down my legs. "Jacob," my voice hardly sounded like my own, huskier and breaking though the gasps. "I- I'm sorry but I'm not ready for that." I said not wanting to look up into his eyes. Jacob released my underwear and moved his hand back up my waist and pulled me close to him. I lay with my head on his chest, listening to his heart rate slowly drop back to its normal rhythm, stealing away his body heat. "I'm sorry." I said again and I felt Jacob's head move up to look down at me.  
"What have you done to be sorry for? You're not ready yet. If you think I'm angry, I'm not. I just have to calm down before I embarrass myself." He laughed and squeezed me tight towards him. My muscles relaxed and I carefully wrapped an arm around his stomach.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey, I'm really sorry about the delay in updating... I've been distracted by the other stories on here and currently have 5 different ideas on the go though only two on here at the moment. If anyone was interested in reading any other of my stories, please tell me if you think starting to post them up would be a good idea. I'm not sure if the two I have going on here are any good to be honest.**

**Well hope you enjoy this; please read and review. This is all I have of this story so far and have kind of reached a point where I have no idea where this is going at the moment. I have a small segment typed up which happens in the future of this story but I wanted more before then... if any one has any ideas feel free to tell me and if you want something else in the story please let me know. You never know your ideas might become part of the story. **

**Disclaimer: None of the twilight characters belong to me, not makign any money off of this anyway.**

It was a few weeks into Spring, the flowers were beginning to bud and bloom, the trees didn't seem quite so bare now and finally after the long, cold summer it was beginning to warm.

I had started dreaming again; vivid, bright dreams. Lying the in meadow Edward had taken me to, the view from his bedroom window, the piano that stood in the living room. In all of the dreams I never saw Edward himself. Never saw any of the Cullens infact and I was surprised to find that the fact they didn't appear made my heart ache. I missed then. I missed them all. After all this time, after all of Jacobs' love and acceptance, I could miss them for not being around anymore without feeling like I was dying inside.

The dreams worried me though, why was I dreaming about these places now. I was distracted throughout the day after waking after one of them; I was tired and the tiredness seemed to play tricks on my mind. Walking to the lunch room wit Angela I was convinced I heard Emmett's burly laugh. Coming out of the movies with Jacob I nearly ran after someone who walked the same way Alice did.

I missed them. I wanted to talk to them, to hug them, to make sure they were ok- just like I was ok.

And I was ok- more then ok.

Jacobs' bedroom window was flung wide open to let in the air, the smell of the outside mingled with Jacob's own outdoorsy, musky scent. My head was nestled in the crook of his arm, my legs tangled in with his and my body pressed as tightly to his as possible. My jeans and top had been discarded on the floor; the feeling of Jacobs' skin, his touch on my bare skin was something I couldn't get enough of and Jacob seemed happy enough to comply with us both lounging around in our underwear whenever possible. I had been absent-mindedly drawing patterns on his chest, enjoying the cool breeze and listening to the birds outside when Jacob broke the silence.

"Bells- are you ok?" He had to clear his throat before he could get the whole sentence out. I looked up at him in surprise.

"Of course." I said and dropped a kiss onto his shoulder.

"Well, are- are we ok?" He asked and with just that sentence my throat seemed to close up and a cool chill shivered down my spine while rocks and butterflies formed in my stomach.

"I think we are..."I said slowly, "Why? Do you not?" I sat up, reaching for the sheet to cover myself up. I wasn't sure this was a conversation I wanted to be having in my underwear.

"No, it's not that." He seemed to be able to read the thoughts I was having as they passed across my face. He took hold of my face and kissed me deeply. "You've been so distant lately; you stare into space for hours and won't say what you're thinking about. I got worried and the Pack don't help by joking about you having a secret boyfriend at school. Am I being a complete idiot?" His face looked so worried, I couldn't help smiling.

"Yes, you are being a complete idiot." I pushed him back down onto the bed and laid on top of his chest. "When would I have the time to see a secret boyfriend? I'm always here or at Emilys. I spend every spare moment I have up here with you, if I didn't need to go home to sleep I wouldn't but I don't think Charlie would approve of sleepovers for no reason." I kissed Jacob and he forcefully kissed me back, holding me close.

"I'm sorry for worrying." He said, but I shook my head.

"I have been distracted lately I suppose and I would have told you why but you won't like it and ironically I didn't want you to worry." I smiled and another panicked expression flickered over Jacobs face. "Please remember I love _you_ OK?" I took a deep breath and looked down at Jacobs's chest instead of his face. "I've had dreams about the Cullens, places I'd been with them or their house. None of them are in them and it just made me realise that I miss them. I miss all of them. I just want to see them, to talk to them to see if they're ok and to make sure they're as happy as I am."

Jacob had stiffened underneath me, his muscles tensed along his arms and shoulders and down his back, his hands had become fists; I could feel them against my back. I glanced up at him, keeping my head low down on his chest. He was staring up at the ceiling, his lips pressed tightly together, his skin seemed to be stretched tighter over his bones as if they were threatening to press out from beneath his skin. I took a deep breath and swallowed.

"Jacob? Honey?" Still he wouldn't look away form the spot on the ceiling. "Say something please-" I paused, "-I'm sorry if you're mad at me. I didn't want to upset you. It's not like I want them to come back. I'm so happy here, I'm so happy with you. I love you... Jacob?"

He was still staring up at the ceiling, still tensed, but one fist had come undone and was lying almost calmly at the base of my back. I couldn't help the tears that were starting to well up in my eyes. My hands trembled on his chest.  
"Please Jacob. Say something." I was beginning to beg. "I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have said anything. But- but I didn't want to lie to you. I want to be honest with you always." The tears were starting to spill over and one by one dripped down my cheeks and landed on Jacob's chest. He looked then, and pain swept across his face.

"Do you mean that?" Jacob asked, "the honesty thing?" I nodded. "So you'll never lie to me, pretend something just to make me feel better?"

"No, of course now. Do you think I'm lying now? When I say I love you?" I asked, the tears and upset disappeared in a flash, as a rush of anger flooded my veins.

"No. But sometimes it crosses my mind that maybe you've only with me because you can't bare being alone, without Edward and then with the whole imprinting stuff. Maybe you feel you should because Emily is with Sam." Jacob sighed and I slammed my hands against his chest. Anger flared through me and I shot off his bed pulling on my clothes and stormed out of his bedroom. "Bella-" Jacob came after me as I pulled on my shoes.

"I can't believe you think I'm here because I'm some pathetic little girly who has to be in a relationship. I'm here because I love you. Yes Edward left me, yes I went insane and you put me back together. But you were the one who put the idea of us being together in my head. Why did you even bother? I don't understand you sometimes Jacob Black." I pulled my jacket on and opened his front door. "And as you think I can't bare to be alone ever, maybe I'll just do give Mike a call." I slammed the door behind me and stormed off. I wasn't sure where I was going but I knew that while I was in no fit state to drive I was stuck in La Push.

I had been walking for a few minutes before I realised I was walking towards Sam and Emily's place. I hoped Sam was out as I could do with some female company. I knocked on the front door and was pleased to see that it was Emily who opened the door.  
"Bella, I wasn't expecting to see you today." She ushered me in the house and into the kitchen, from where as usual gorgeous cooking smells wafted. "I'm having a big cook up session. Thought would stock the freezer."

"Sounds like a good idea." I said and hung my jacket over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. "Do you want a hand?"

We worked in near silence for five minutes before Emily turned to me and smiled gently.  
"So you want to talk about what's gotten you so riled up?" She asked and I stared into the large pot of tomato pasta sauce I was stirring.

"Me and Jacob just had this really stupid fight. I got so angry so quickly and just had to get out before I punched him and broke myself." I laughed slightly but it ended too quickly.

"What was the fight about?" Emily asked and I bit my lip.

"He asked about me being distant so I told him I missed the Cullen's. He got angry and I was trying to calm him down but he didn't seem to hear any of it and then went on to say he wondered if the only reason I was with him was because I had to be in a relationship and because of the imprinting. Butt I'm not one of those girls am I? Who have to be with a guy to prove their worth something?" I asked and sighed. "I am pathetic though."

"No Bella, sweetheart. Don't be silly. I don't think you're like that. You and Jacob took a long time to happen. It's not like you bounced from one to the other." I smiled and I smiled back.

"I'm confused if I'm honest." I admitted and shrugged. "I thought everything between us was good. I was happy, I'm in love with this amazing guy who seems to love me back, but was he not happy with us? What am I doing wrong now? I must be doing something wrong."

"Why do you think you're doing something wrong?" Emily asked.

"If Jacob feels like he's second best to me then I must be. If he thinks I still put Edward first, then I must be doing something horribly wrong." I slumped down into one of the chairs.

"Bella, honey, Jacob knows you love him but he also knows that you loved Edward."

"But the important word there is loved. Yes, I loved Edward but he took that and threw it back in my face. I _love_ Jacob. How else can I show without doing something I'm not ready for yet?" I sighed and Emily smiled.  
"Give him a little more time and I'm sure he'll be here, tripping over his feet to apologise to you." Emily said and I smiled slightly.

Half an hour later Sam walked in and kissed Emily gently on the lips.  
"Jacob's outside Bella. He's been hovering out there for ten minutes. Say's he sorry and wants you to go out there so he can say it himself." Sam said and Emily smiled.

"There you go Bella, told you he would find you." She handed me my coat and leant over to kiss me on the cheek. "Don't be too hard on him."

I walked out of their house, my arms folded across my chest and stood a few feet from Jacob danced nervously from one foot to the other.  
"Bella... did Sam-"

"Sam said you wanted to apologise." I said curtly and Jacob nodded.

"Can we go for a walk or something, away from prying ears?" He asked nodding over my shoulder to the window Emily was peering out of.

"Fine," I huffed and walked off in the direction of First Beach. Jacob walked beside me, annoyingly silent for the moment.

"I'm sorry Bella." He started and looked at me, eyes pleading for forgiveness.

"You can't just say sorry and make puppy dog eyes at me Jake." I said and he sighed.

"OK, I'm sorry for implying you're a rebound type of girl." He pulled a small smile.

"You hurt me Jake. I thought I was being a good girlfriend, but obviously I wasn't being good enough. If you had listened at all instead of getting angry that I would dare to mention Edwards name maybe you would have heard me say that I loved you. I don't want to see them necessarily; just to speak to Alice on the phone would be nice. I told you I would never pretend; I thought that was pretty much a given." I sighed and uncrossed my arms. "I'm sorry too Jake. I'm sorry I haven't shown you just how much I care, because if I had you couldn't doubt me. I love you. You're my number one." I turned from him, unable to look at him any longer; the expression on his face was unreadable. Tears, once again, started to trail down my cheeks and I stared down at my feet waiting for some kind of response from the silent statue that was Jacob Black beside me.

Slowly cracks began to appear; first a smile.  
"Number one hey?" He joked and pulled me into his arms. "That's good to know." I tried to wipe the tears away without him noticing but failed. "Hey, hey, why are you crying?" He asked, stroking my arm.

"Because you're an idiot Jacob Black," I rested my head on his chest. "When a girl says the kind of things I've just said silence or joking is never a good response." Jacob dropped kisses onto my face.  
"I'm sorry. I love you. I love you so much. You know you're my number one; you've always been number one. You're my soul mate, I knew that before I imprinted on you." Jacob pulled me closer.

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play with them.**

**This is the last piece I have actually written, I have some form of basic idea of what might happen later on... but after rereading what I've already written I'm going to have to do some thinking- I stupidly forgot that I had Jacob imprint... so there goes that part... so I don't know how long it will be until there is an update on here but Feeling should be updated soon... and I have a few other stories almost ready to post if people are wanting to read them... we have a dark-ish all human story which is currently nameless- I have about 5/6 chapters already typed up for that.**

**Please let me know what you think of this :)**

* * *

The sun was finally making a fairly regular appearance in the skies above Forks. Summer was on its way. Finals were nearly upon us and I was missing Jacob desperately. Charlie had forced me to apply to at least Seattle University and now I had to get the grades to get in.

I was only able to see Jacob on Saturday for the month leading up to finals; Charlie had high hopes for my final GPA. I was looking forward to Graduation- not for the ceremony but for the freedom afterwards- freedom to do as I pleased whenever I wanted, freedom to go out to Port Angelus for lunch and a movie with Angela for a girly day, freedom for Jacob to come here, freedom to go to La Push.

I threw my Shakespeare book across the room, it hit the wall with a thud and it fell open on the floor. It was a Saturday, I only had a few exams left and I wanted a break from all the studying. I got up and crossed my room to the window. I leant my head on the glass and stared out. Jacob had had to run off earlier for Pack duties. Jared had caught the scent of a vampire nearby and they were worried it was Victoria returning to Forks.

Victoria.

It had been so long since I had had to think of that name, I had almost forgotten about the vampire who wanted me dead. What had she been doing all this time? The last time the Pack had caught her scent was the day I had thought jumping off a cliff in order to heard Edwards voice tell me off was a good idea. I had been too wrapped up in school, my friends and my boyfriend to think about the woman after my blood, too wrapped up being like everyone else. Would I ever get a normal life while living here?

I sighed and lifted my head off the glass. The day was dull, with thick, grey clouds rolling in overhead. If I knew Forks, rain would soon be on its way. I was staring out of my bedroom window towards the forest when movement in the trees caught my eye. I squinted my eyes trying to see if it was one of the Pack- Jacob had said someone would be keeping watch on the house in case it was Victoria, which was why I was stuck inside until Jacob came back to give me the 'all clear'. I peered down into the darkness between the trees but saw nothing else so turned away.

I slouched downstairs in order to make a hot chocolate. I needed a break and hot chocolate, cookies and a movie seemed like the best way to try to take my mind off the incoming rain and the gnawing feeling of anxiety deep in the pit of my stomach from the fact Jacob had been gone for hours and I had had no news. I settled down in front of the TV and hoped this girly comedy would help expel some of my bad feelings from rising up.

The movie ended, the rain started and still I had no news. I turned the TV onto a chat show but I couldn't pay attention. My leg was bouncing, my nervousness was making me fidget as I watched the seconds tick by. Nearly five hours. Jacob had been gone nearly five hours. What if he had been hurt? I got up and almost ran to the phone.  
"Emily? It's Bella." Emily had picked up on the third ring.  
"Bella, are you ok? You sound a little panicked." Emily asked in her soothing, care-giver voice.  
"I'm worried about the boys. Have you heard anything?" My breathing was fast and my heart rate too quick. My nerves and anxiety were not going away.  
"I'm sure they are fine. Don't worry- relax. As soon as I hear something I'll let you know alright? Take a few deep breathes and do something with your hands. Keep you busy." Emily laughed and some of my anxiety dissolved. If Emily was not worried then maybe I was over-reacting a little, maybe there was nothing to worry about.  
"Thanks Emily. Sorry for disturbing you." I said.  
"Don't worry about it. See you next weekend for the bonfire?" Emily asked and I smiled.  
"Of course, can't wait." I hung up the phone and wandered into the kitchen.

I was just finishing the sauce for dinner when I heard the front door being unlocked.  
"Bella?" Jacobs slightly worried call made me drop the wooden spoon into the pan of sauce and bolt into the hall to see him. He looked tired, even his hair hanging around his face seemed tired. He, as usual after phasing, was dressed only in some pants and these were dirty and mud splattered. A thick, pink scar stretched from his chest up and across his left shoulder and disappeared down his back. He opened his arms for me and I almost fell into them.  
"You're alive." I breathed into his hair, curling one hand around his neck. "I was worried."  
"Of course I'm alive. I had to come back to you." He whispered, kissing my head, my hair, my arm- any part of me he could reach in the positions we were in.  
"What happened? You got hurt." I asked, trailing my fingers over the marks on his shoulder.  
"It was what we feared, Victoria and two other bloodsuckers." I pulled him through to the kitchen and sat him down on one of the chairs. "We got them her and one of the others, but the second one got away. Seth tried to take one on alone. He's going to be alright but he fractured his ankle." I stroked Jacobs hair and he leaned against my stomach.  
"Thank you Jake for looking after me. Can you thank the rest of them for me too?" Jake nodded, his eyes closed. "Why don't you go lie down on the couch and sleep? I'll wake you when dinners ready." Jacob smiled and pulled himself to his feet.  
"There's no need to thank me Bella. My life is you." He kissed me gently on the lips and disappeared into the living room, where I could hear his quiet snores within a minute.

---

"I can't believe it's all over!" Jessica cried, pulling me towards her to hug me tightly around the neck. "It feels like I only begun here yesterday. And now we've graduated." I patted her shoulders, not quite sure what to say to Jessicas' little outburst. "We have to keep in touch OK Bella. E-mail me and tell me all about college. We'll have to meet up over the summer. Promise me OK?"  
"I promised Jess." I said and Jessica finally let go of my neck.  
"I'm going to miss you Bella. I need to go find Lauren." She pulled an almost dazzling grin and disappeared through the crowd of happy, chattering people.

So this was it; I was no longer a high school student.

I peered over people's heads until I spotted Jacob standing a whole head taller then everyone else around him. I went over and he quickly pulled me into a tight hug, a blush coming to my cheeks at this kind of fairly intimate touch in front of Charlie. He smiled at me, his eyes seems a little red around the edge.  
"Sorry it took me so long. I got attacked on the way." I explained and Charlie shook his head.  
"Never mind, you ready to head on over to La Push for the celebratory bonfire. Emily's been slaving away over the food all day. She's so excited about this." Charlie said and I nodded.  
"Let's go." Jacob took my hand and we followed behind Charlie and Billy as we slowly made our way across to the car. As we entered the lot I looked up and stiffened. Jacob seemed to sense it almost immediately for he snapped his head round to look at me.  
"What is it?" He asked and I pointed to a silver Volvo parked in the fair corner of the parking lot.  
"Isn't that Edward's car?" I asked and Jacob paused before shrugging.  
"Do you want to go see?" He asked quietly and I looked up into his sad, pained eyes and then shook my head.  
"No, let's just go to Emily's." I tugged lightly as his hands, he kissed me quickly and then we both quickened our pace- both wanting to leave behind the silver car and the potential of who it's owner might be.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the Twilight Characters. **

**Sorry for the huge delay in posting this. This part took forever to write. I had to write and re write the Billy/Charlie part. I just couldn't get it right. So I apologise for not updating sooner, hopefully there won't be another delay like this.**

The bonfire was just like any of the other La Push bonfires; the massive fire was stood in the middle of the beach. Everyone from the reservation was there, celebrating the newest High School graduates, but I couldn't quite get into the swing of this bonfire. Normally I was attached to Jacobs' side for the entirety of the event but half an hour into this one he had disappeared while I was helping Emily set out the food. Jacob wasn't the only one missing; Sam and Paul had gone as well and I couldn't help noticing the worried glances between Billy and some of the other men I knew to be elders of the tribe. It added to the worry deep in the pit of my stomach that had been building over the afternoon since seeing the silver Volvo in the school car park.

I was sat a little distance from the main bonfire, staring out over the water, absentmindedly twisting my fingers through my hair.

"Bells, it's getting late. It's time to head home." Charlie broke me out of my thoughts and I stood up.

"Have you seen Jacob?" I asked but he shook his head. "Fine, I'll say goodbye to Emily and Billy and then we can be off."

I hurried around the people who remained, hugging goodbye and dropping kisses on offered cheeks. I asked Billy to tell Jacob to call me when he appeared from wherever he had disappeared to before following Charlie back to his car.

"Are you and Jacob fighting?" Charlie asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Not that I know of, he just disappeared a few hours ago." I muttered and slumped in my seat.

"He'd had a good reason for it."

"He better have, I graduated today. I suppose it's too much to ask for my boyfriend not to vanish on me." I sighed loudly and Charlie chuckled nervously beside me.

"Go easy on him. He's a good guy you know."

"Normally I'd agree."

I fell into a fitful sleep, unable to settle down completely and have a proper restful deep sleep. When I woke the next morning the sheets were twisted around my body and I had the beginning of a bruise on my wrist from where I hit it in my sleep. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes before I turned over to check the time.

I had just finished washing up my dishes after lunch and had settled down on the couch with a book when Jacob wandered in the house. He grinned down at me and dropped into the seat next to me.

"Hey Bells," he leant over to kiss me but I turned my head slightly so he got my check instead of my lips, "what's wrong?"

"I'm pissed at you a little." I said simply and turned the page of my book not looking at him properly.

"What have I done?" He asked kneading my thigh though my jeans.

"Where'd you go last night?"

"I had to go somewhere with Sam, it was Pack duty." He said and I nodded.

"Why'd you just disappear? I would have understood you going if it was to do with the Pack. I was really worried you know."

"I thought you'd worry if I told you."

"Not as much- for all I knew you were off with some girl doing God knows what."

Jacob reached over and took the book from my hands and pulled me to him. "I would never to that Bella, you know that. Never. I love you. I'll always love you." His lips crushed against mine.

Hips lips and hands were everywhere, and mine were lost deep in his hair holding him tight to me. My shirt and jeans had been lost at some point and we had moved from the living room into my bedroom. I was losing all sense of time as his mouth sucked on my nipple and he ground his hips down on mine. My brain would surface every now and then as Jacob's hands and mouth would stop the delicious assault on my body as he shifted to take my bra, his jeans off, when he would brush my hair back from my face and my brain would question if this was all going a bit far, was all a bit much but then Jacobs hands would brush against my centre or his lips would tighten over my ear lobe or nipple and it would be lost again under a wave of pleasure and I couldn't think anymore, I just went along with it giving myself up to the pleasure of the situation, for the first time just enjoying and no thinking.

Jacob paused and looked at me before he pulled my underwear down off me and for the first time I lay naked in front of him.

"Bella, do-do you want to..." Jacob trailed of as he knelt straddled over me. I bit my lip hard before nodding. He smiled and kissed me deeply before positioning himself over me.

And then pain. A sudden streak of pain swept through me as Jacob thrust into me harder then I thought he would. I cringed digging my fingertips into the heated flesh of his back. He hissed against my shoulder and whispered how much he loved me.

It was over quickly; Jacob lay beside me, his arm curled around me pulling me to him. He had disposed of the condom he had managed to put on without me even realising and then lay back on my bed. He was still naked while I had pulled my covers over me slightly, feeling too vulnerable now after what we had done.

"That was wonderful Bella." Jacob whispered and kissed the top of my head. "I love you so much."

"Really? That was ok?" I asked and flushed with embarrassment.

"Of course. Silly Bella." He pulled me further over and I curled myself around him more and smiled. "Was it ok for you?"

I looked up at my Jacobs face and smiled, before I reached up to kiss him. His hand nestled in the hair at the nape of my neck.

"It was kind of painful but that'll go away after a few times."

"So it'll happen again?" Jacob asked raising his eyebrows.

"Course it will. You're stuck with me now Black."

"I'm ok with that Swan." He rolled on top of me and I giggled as he pulled me closer to him.

A door slammed downstairs and we sprung apart.

"Bells? You up there?" Charlie called and I felt the colour drain from my face.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit." Jacob fell off me and we hurriedly pulled our clothes back on. I was just pulling a brush through my mess of hair when Charlie pushed my bedroom door open.

"What are you two up to?" He asked, suspicion written all over his face. Jacob was sat in the rocking chair by the window.

"I was just getting ready to go out. We thought we'd go to the beach or something." I said and my cheeks went hot as I blushed over the lie. Charlie stared at me and I looked back at him.

"I'm not stupid Bella, I think it's time for a talk. I'm calling Billy."

"Dad..." I trailed off as he turned and glared at us both.

"Downstairs, both of you. Now." Charlie said and we trailed down behind him.

Billy and Charlie joined us in the living room a little while later. Jacob and I were sat on the couch, and I was glad to have his hand wrapped around mine. Charlie cleared his throat and shifted in his chair uncomfortably.

"I'm not stupid. I know what teenagers are going to want to get up to. But you're not."

"Dad!" I wasn't sure I was ever going to lose the colour on my cheeks after this conversation.

"Charlie, I know you're worried about Bella but I'm not like the other guys. I love your daughter. I'm going to marry her if she'll have me I'm not going to hurt her in any way or hold her back from what she needs to do." Jacob said and Charlie sat back in her arm chair and stared at Jacob.

"I trust them Charlie. Neither of them are stupid. If they are going to do anything you know they are going to be safe." Billy said and Charlies face turned the same colour mine probably was.

"God."

"Charlie, Bella's an adult now. She's going to college in the Fall; you can't control what she does there. Trust her not to make a mistake." Billy said and smiled over at us two on the couch. Jacob squeezed my hand gently before stroking my arm with his fingers. My heart was still racing as Charlie continued to glare at Jacob.

"I'm not going to get pregnant before I'm married and I'm not going to get married until I'm done with college." I said, sneaking a glance across at Jacob. "Now, we've got all that sorted, can we go now? Jacob and I can take Billy home then I'll go to the store."

"Fine. Just not under my roof." Charlie muttered and we left him in the living room.

"He said not under his roof, but I would rather you're at ours and safe then outside and potentially arrested for breaking pubic decency. Charlie would love that." Billy threw back his head laughing. I slumped against the car door resting my hot head on the cool glass- my face is never going to go back to normal.

--

"Patrols have gone up again, is there anything happening?" I asked. Jacob and I had spirited ourselves away to Port Angeles for the day to get away from Charlies watchful eyes and the Packs comments and jokes.

"Nothing bad Bells, you have no need to worry. As far as I know there's no more leeches after you. You're all safe." Jacob squeezed my hand tenderly and I grinned.

"Never thought I wasn't with a pack of wolves at my fingertips, I was just worrying about you. I like to know these things."

"Nosy thing." He pressed a kiss to my temple and pushed my hair off my face. "There's been a couple of trails, we're trying to work out if they're just passing though or are staying in the area. And..." Jacob trailed off and sighed.

"What?" I stopped walking and Jacob turned to face me.

"We found an old trail with a Cullen scent. We don't know how old it was or if they're still here. I didn't want to upset you so I wasn't going to tell you unless you asked... I'm sorry if I've upset you. I knew you missed them and I didn't know how you'd react knowing one of them had been here and not contacted you... but I wasn't going to lie to you. We're still looking for more trails, trying to see if they've been back but there's been nothing so far."

I stared up at Jake, my face completely void of expression for a few seconds before a surprised giggle burst through.

"So you didn't not tell me because you don't want me anywhere near the Cullens?"

"No, if you really wanted to see them I wouldn't stop you but I'd ask if was at your house just in case so I could be near."

I laughed and jumped up into his arms, my own locking tightly around his neck. I leaned my forehead against his cheek.

"I love you Jacob Black. You never fail to surprise me." I kissed him hard.

"I love you too Isabella Swan."


End file.
